Real Estate and the man in the mirror

I am convinced that real estate sales is the greatest arena for self improvement.  If you want to be great you have to decide to be great.  Then you must find an arena to test your ideas, confront your fears and improve your disciplines.  I didn't always feel this way.  In the beginning I took advantage of the fact that I could sell a few houses and make enough money to clothe my children.  However, I hit my ceiling.  Gary Keller has an excellent example in his book The Millionaire Real Estate Agent.  He talks about the Natural Achievement Ceiling.   Natural ability can take us only so far.  No matter how gifted we are we will all eventually hit the ceiling of our natural ability.  I have always been grateful for my natural ability.  Complex systems and tasks are generally pretty easy for me but I hit my ceiling so I adjusted and then hit my ceiling again so I adjusted and hit my ceiling again.  Fortunately for me, even though sometimes I can be a slow learner I eventually learned that I had to figure out how to break through. I had to discipline myself and take on systems and models that were duplicatable.  For a while there I hated real estate as I denied the fact that I would have to change and be a disciplined achiever.  I rejected the idea that my natural ability was not up to the task.  Gratefully I have overcome my ego and I have chosen to apply my natural ability to improving my discipline and systems.  The challenge is invigorating.  I am the foundation to my success in the world therefore I must improve myself first.  That is why I am a member of the 5 am club, I choose to eat by the guidelines of The Primal Blueprint and I constantly look for weakness, lack of discipline and doubt and I attack it.  I am loving my growth and evolution.

I am always reading.  Feel free to contact me for some good book recommendations.

Options are bad

I read an article recently that suggested that in order to accomplish my goals I had to get more disciplined instead of more motivated.  Motivation infers that I need a motive for action.  Discipline is a decision to follow a set of rules and install habits that if done consistently and at a high level will cause me to inevitably arrive at my destination, my goal.  I have discovered however, that if I have an option then I will not be consistent.  An example is that I love getting up early during the week.  So, I am up at 4:50 am on Monday Wednesday and Friday if I am playing racquetball but I sometimes sleep in until 7 or later on Tuesday and Thursday.  Funny thing is that I am usually up by 6 on Saturday and Sunday.  A couple of years ago I learned the concept of the black and white rule.  Another name for it is the All or Nothing rule.  So, in the case of wakeup time, the new rule is I always wake up at 4:50 am.  There is never a reason or excuse that will allow me to sleep later.   The option is what makes me ineffective.  I always exercise, never an option not to exercise.  I always eat primally, never an option to eat junk.  Giving myself the option, I have learned after my short experience on this planet only gives me an out.  It gives me just enough rope to hang myself.  I remember having a rule that I exercised three days a week.  Then I would let my self off the hook if I missed one day, then I remember missing weeks and telling myself that I would start again next week.  I am sure that I am the only one that has done that.  Well now the black and white rule is that I exercise everyday.  My body requires it, I feel better after I do it and I don't always sprint five blocks but I am active and I am feel better.  Black and white rules eliminate options.  Options are bad for self growth, weight loss, health, sales and relationships.

Abandon your Identity for Growth

Who we think we are holds us in place.  This process is so subtle that it is hard to see even when you understand the concept.  Consider for a second that you want to be a better athlete.  You practice and play and compete until you believe that you are good and you begin to beat the people around you.  Well you are still limited by your self image.  The way that you see yourself is your limitation. If you think that you are a good athlete when you can win a certain number of matches then even while understanding that your self image holds you in place, you do nothing to get to the next level.  Why don't you get a coach?  Well, nobody around me has a coach.  Exactly.  Much of our identity is set by the people we surround ourselves with.  I have learned that as a salesman I must make a herculean effort to outperform my peers.  I must be willing to break rapport and not be liked or approved of in order to be a great performer.  I read somewhere that most people will live their entire lives broke because they have to be liked. 

Identity - How do we define identity?  Well this seems like an easy question.  We are who we are because we choose to be that way.  Let's look at this. We define our identity by how we dress.  We define our identity by how we talk.  We define ourselves by how we set goals and how we work to achieve those goals. We define ourselves by our heritage.  Now look back over the last few sentences.  It isn't a  complete and comprehensive way of how we define our identity but I do want you to notice that everyone of those things is determined by outside influence.  We dress a certain way because that is the way our peers dress, and in order to fit in and be approved of and accepted we must maintain a certain level or method of dress.  Tattooed bikers tend to hang out together as do blonde princess types and nerds and vegetarians.   Obviously, I could demonstrate that every way that we act and interact is determined by the way that we are influenced by our environment and more specifically those people we interact with on a daily basis.  

Abandon your Identity - Becoming a super performer requires us to be able to choose our path and breaking with our current influencers.  We must be willing to abandon our current environment and identity if we are ever going to be able to move ourselves and our lives to the next level.  Have you ever gotten into a rut?  Why is it so difficult to get out of that rut?  Because we are surrounded by people that we believe depend on us to remain in that rut.  Destructive habits go away once we abandon our environment.  I once read that there was a high percentage of US forces in Viet Nam that were addicted to heroin because it was such an easy drug to access while in country.  During the Viet Nam era there was a fear that the US would have to deal with a large number of veterans returning to the US addicted to this very destructive drug.  It turned out that the fears were unfounded.  Upon returning the service members returned to lives where that behavior was unacceptable.   They came back to homes where they were loved and they had responsibilities and goals and dreams.  Most returning veterans were able to drop the drug altogether and never return to it.  How is this possible?  Well the soldiers and sailors were in an environment where heroin use was accepted.  When that environment was abandoned, so were all the habits and tendencies associated with it.  Consider for a second that your ruts, self destructive habits and laziness are products of your environment.  We must be willing to abandon that which gives us identity to take our life to the next level.   Are you unsatisfied with your life?  Could you be better? Do you feel like you are nothing but potential?  Do you ever want to live up to your potential?  You must be willing to abandon your identity to grow. 

Most of my posts are just notes to myself.  I want to be able to remember what I have learned and be able to communicate it well.  If this helps you please let me know by commenting.  Thank you for reading my blog.  Rolando

Who should I listen to?

I know the title is not grammatically correct but I hear myself saying this from time to time.  There are so many people that easily and freely give advice.  For the most part I believe that they have good intentions. However, I also believe that there are those that reflexively impart their "wisdom" in self defense.  Not because they are threatened but because their sense of self or self esteem is threatened.  There are occasions when I have  caught myself solving other people's issues and my desired result was that their behavior would have less impact on me.  I have counseled my children so that their lives would look more like I wanted. With love of course but it is easy now for me to see that their growth, decisions and learning are their own.  My meddling can only hurt.  I remember listening to speakers live and recorded telling me not to take advice from anyone.  More specifically, not to take advice from someone that would not benefit from my growth. 

Who should I listen to?  Another problem I run into is that I actually give more weight to advice that sounds like something I would say.  I don't have to tell you, that's not going to help. 

My conclusion is that my objective must be as clear and well defined as possible.  I must listen to the highest version of myself and avoid the whisperings of those that are unwilling to rise to the highest levels.  I am committed to becoming the best version of myself. 

Am I really accountable?

I love real estate.  Not because I love driving buyers around to see houses.  Not because I love knowing exactly what home buyers are going to buy and having to show 20 homes before they self discover what I knew from the beginning.  Not because I love telling sellers that their home is not worth what they think it is.  Not because I love helping sellers self discover that the only offer they have received in four months is a good reflection of what the market will pay.  I love real estate because it is the ultimate self development course.  I love knowing that if I am going to be successful in sales I must overcome all kinds of mental drunk monkey dooka and embrace discipline and accountability.  I love knowing that all of my success depends on me.  Here is the problem.  I have made what I consider to be great and difficult changes in my life to become better.  Most of you who know me will at least agree that I am willing to change.  However, this last week I met with a friend that has 4, yes FOUR layers of accountability to make sure she accomplishes her goals.  I thought I was committed.  I see now where I need to grow.  I am grateful for good examples and I am grateful for Real Estate. 

The right side of the menu

In 2012 I am committed to deciding what I want by looking at the left side of the menu. I know that I am probably the only one that looks at the right side of the menu and after I find a price that I am willing to pay, I check to see what I will be having for lunch. This does not just apply to eating at restaurants. This also applies to larger decisions about weed eaters and floor tile and shelving units and cars and fixer upper houses and everything.

Looking at the right side of the menu means I lack of confidence. It suggests that I want something but I don't believe that I can stretch and grow enough to earn what I want and therefore I am limited by what I have. Looking at the right side of the menu means I believe there is not enough. I only have this much and I can't get more so I need to get the biggest bang for my buck. Looking at the right side of the menu is the ultimate in instant gratification mindset. I have this much in my pocket so I will buy now rather than save and buy what I want later.

Looking at the left side of the menu means I feel good about myself. I deserve the best not the most affordable. Looking at the left side of the menu means I believe in myself. I can get what I want when I want it because I know I can get it when I want it. Looking at the left side of the menu means that I create my life the way I want it and I am not subject to my self imposed limitations. I am eager to enjoy 2012.

Leadership 101

Stephen R. Covey says “leadership is communicating to people their worth and potential so clearly that they come to see it in themselves.”  I love this definition.  I love the idea of having the communication skills to be able to help someone see their potential.  While thinking about this it occurred to me that I must learn these skills because I could truly help my children.  Further contemplation brought me to the conclusion to which you have already arrived.  It is imperative that I see and believe my own worth and potential. With that knowledge and confidence I will take massive action to achieve my goals. I am a Leader.